Dear Reader, you may not have noticed my new picture that was recommended to me by a friend. A long time ago, 50 years ago, I bought a hair piece and paid $500 for it. My friends called it “Henry.”

I wore Henry everywhere I went and we became inseparable day or night except when sleeping. A few years ago I decided I was handsome enough and old enough that I didn’t need Henry anymore so I carefully placed him in the closet where he resides to this day.

I didn’t change the picture in my column though and everywhere I went, most people, without Henry, didn’t recognize me as the guy who writes this column.

Sometimes that was good because they couldn’t blame me for things that I sometimes write. On the other side of the horn, they didn’t give me credit for some of the things on which we agreed. Either way the old picture with Henry had to go. I guess all is vanity.

Another friend sent me the analogy on why we need more Monkeys.

We Need More Monkeys

Why do we need more Monkeys you might ask? Well it’s kinda like this.

If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage, hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of stairs under the banana; before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, you spray all the other monkeys with cold water. After a while another monkey makes an attempt with same result... all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water.

Pretty soon when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.

Now, put the cold water away. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.

The new monkey sees the banana and attempts to climb the stairs. To his shock, all of the other monkeys beat the heck out of him.

After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys, replacing it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment... with enthusiasm.

Then, replace a third original monkey with a new one, followed by a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him up have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs. Neither do they know why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

Finally, having replaced all of the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys will have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, none of the monkeys will try to climb the stairway for the banana.

Why, you ask? Because in their minds, that is the way it has always been!

This, my friends, is how Congress operates, and is why, from time to time; all of the monkeys need to be replaced at the same time!

That’s my story and I am sticking to it.

Quote for the week by Groucho Marx: “I got married by the judge. Guess I should have asked for the jury.”

Milo A. Nickel is the former President and COO of Louisiana State Newspapers.