A young couple planning on marriage recently inquired if there was a book that might be helpful as they prepare for life together. One of the books I recommended to them was The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

Here's the thing: What if you could say or just do the right thing guaranteed to make that special someone feel loved? According to Chapman, the secret is learning the right love language.

They say the best ideas are simple. Well, Chapman's book is easy to read, easy to understand... and it makes a lot of sense. Cynthia and I read it and agree on our respective love languages.

The point of knowing our mate's love language is that we can begin to speak it/live it out. When we "speak" their love language, we are communicating our love for them. And it makes a difference.

Here is a synopsis of the five love languages. See if they make as much sense to you as they did to us.

Words of Affirmation

Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important - hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, "I love you," like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there - with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby - makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts

Don't mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty thoughtless gift would be disastrous - so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an "Acts of Service" person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: "Let me do that for you." Laziness, broken commitments and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don't matter.

Physical Touch

This language isn't all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder or face - they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

I think this is one reason some couples do a lot of combat. Sure, they love one another, but they also drive one another crazy, seemingly every day. Is it possible they never learned one another's love language? I believe so. Love beyond yourself. Love unselfishly!

Dr. Greg Davis is the pastor of Zachary United Methodist Church in Zachary.